Right brain = Heaven. Left brain = Hell.

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I’m no scientist, so don’t bother being a big-dumby-left-brain by scrolling down and looking for statistics.  You won’t find them.  You will, however, find this lovely picture…

"What Dreams May Come" (1998)

Robin Williams in “What Dreams May Come” (1998)

And that makes me happy.  My right brain and my heart are in cahoots, so when I engage the right brain, I see the good in the world and I’m happy (and happiness is contagious).

But when I engage my left brain (without any help from the right brain), it’s dismal.  See, I have these difficult days when my left brain kicks in and hunts down the “truth about the world” that I tell myself I deserve to know.  And I go from one subject to another (and another) and within a few hours, I sink into a pit of hell as my left brain races off the track like a train out of control – I’m talking way past the usual things like financial pressure, lack of work, health issues of family members, world hunger, a skin tag growing in an uncomfortable place, biting mosquitos, rising gas prices and too much traffic.

No, no, no…it’s much worse.  This train goes way off the track towards GMOs, Chemtrails, New World Order, Human Trafficking and a slew of other horrendous issues that pull my interests away from normal-everyday-annoying-bull-crap-type-stressors and into hours of concern which leads to hours of research, where I learn about even bigger and nastier atrocities that are supposedly hidden from us…which in turn leads to way more concern and ultimately, depression.

And that, my friends, renders me completely useless.  My energy plummets.  I can’t smile. I’m not fun to be around. I become paranoid.  Possibly even snappy.  I basically land up in HELL and stay there until I finally get a grip and make a conscious decision to “smell the roses” again and get back into my Right brain.

My left brain can be my biggest enemy when I let it loose.  I take myself too seriously at times.  I take the world too seriously.  And the bottom line is, I land up perpetuating the problem.  Of course I know some people will jump all over that – yes, I’ve heard it before.  Like the time, I commented on a Facebook post, and some other commenter (a guy I don’t know) labeled me “sheeple” and “weak” and told me I was part of the problem and said “Do the world a favor and educate yourself before you comment on something you don’t understand!”

Oddly, he and I were in agreement about the horrendous issue (it was an upsetting quote by a certain Rockefeller), but when I mentioned (in my comment) the need for us to create more love in the world, he completely lost it and launched his attack on me.

My last comment to him was “Whoa dude! I am not the enemy!”  That didn’t stop him – he continued ranting about “ignorant people” [like me] “who hide [their] head in the sand!”  I let it go and he got the last word – why argue with an unreasonable person who makes claims about someone they don’t even know?  But he helped me to realize how a “concerned citizen” can actually perpetuate the very problem that he/she hates so much!  His negativity and hatred for the elite, for GMOs, for NWO, etc., only fuels that fire.  It feeds their cause!  Hatred and negativity only breeds more hatred and negativity!

While he may think he’s making a difference, I can only base my opinion on energy.  If it feels good, my energy is pumped up and I’m contributing good vibes to myself and to the world (like I said, happiness is contagious) and people like to be near me.  If it feels horrible, my energy plummets, I’m filled with fear and negativity – and not a lot of fun to be around!  That’s not helping anyone!  So judge me if you will, but that’s on you.

I will say this – In a world where we all play teacher and student, I did come to the conclusion that as much as I didn’t like to be judged by some stranger, maybe, just maybe, he taught me (in an odd sort of way), that I have no right to judge either.  I had based my opinion on research, but who’s to say for sure?  Only the supreme creator.

Regardless of the issue, my biggest lesson is this:  My left brain can be beneficial if my right brain supervises (because my right brain is led by my heart).  Right brain is light, happy, hopeful, fun, creative, open, carefree, and and even manifests MIRACLES (as I mentioned in a former post about a miraculous meeting with Wayne Dyer).

Left brain, on the other hand, is often serious, suspicious, paranoid, fearful, hopeless, withdrawn, or closed off to miracles.  And when it’s off on it’s own, all HELL breaks loose and it isn’t pretty!

So repeat after me:  Right Brain = Heaven.  Left Brain = Hell.

 

Wayne Dyer and Me (Part 1)

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How I manifested time with the master of manifestation.

Many people have been asking me to explain in detail, what I did to have this happen:

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Yup, that’s me with Dr. Wayne Dyer in early May.  It’s been about 6 weeks and I’m finally putting it in writing.  Don’t worry – this is not a “6 Steps to Manifest Your Desires” manual or “The Lost Key to the Secret of the Real Secret” eBook.  Haven’t we had enough of those already?  And truth be told, I’m not really sure what the magic formula is!  I can knock myself out trying to manifest some things, and see no results, and yet some things come to me in the most miraculous of ways.  So to those of you who asked, maybe you’ll see something here that I don’t.  Either way, thanks for letting me share!

A little background information:  My interest in Dr. Dyer dates back to the late 90s when someone gave me his book “You’ll See it When You Believe It.”  I soaked it up like a sponge and went on to read several others he authored.  I not only loved his philosophy, I practiced it, lived it, and saw the results.  And a personal transformation took place – my former “life stinks” attitude was replaced with a “life is a reflection of me therefore I choose to be great” attitude.  Suffice to say, I really admired this dude and vowed to someday be the female version of him.  His message inspired my own speaking and training career.

Fast-forward to Fall 2013:  I was writing a memoir about a phenomenal situation that took place from 2006 – 2009.  In it I have a chapter about Wayne Dyer.  I’ve been working on this book for the last 3 or 4 years, but as any writer knows, it’s virtually impossible to write and work at the same time.  Either you make money working and have little time to write, or you write while your bank account slowly shrinks.  Feeling the nudge to write (or, as I blogged a few days ago, feeling Forced to Write), money problems began to surface, and nothing I did to produce income was working.

This past February, depression began setting in.  Along with a colder than usual winter and a dwindling bank account, empty nest syndrome took its toll.  (My son moved to Fort Lauderdale last summer so this was my first winter without him.)  To make matters worse, a huge contract I was counting on to save-the-day financially was postponed for 6 to 8 months.  I was already late on mortgage payments!  Without this contract, my ship was sunk.  For the first time in 15 years, I experienced a “dark night of the soul” which went on for days.  If you’ve ever experienced the “dark night”, you know what paralyzing fear feels like.  A mind-loop of failure, hopelessness, and doom preys on your mental, physical (and worse of all), spiritual wellbeing because all trust for a higher power goes down the toilet – it’s pretty sickening actually!

After days of hiding under the covers, I poked my hand out enough to hit the YouTube channel and play some old Abraham-Hicks teachings I thought I’d outgrown.  It didn’t matter to me if this stuff was truth or not, I let A-H’s “law of attraction” message pump into my ears for 3 straight days while I stayed in bed (no kidding).  Some of the messages really resonated with me, and some made me so angry I yelled at Esther Hicks through the screen “This is bull shit!  I’ve done exactly what you’re saying and my bank account is still empty!” But for whatever reason, I kept listening.  It was better than letting my mind dwell on things like a New World Order, GMOs, or a zombie take-over, so I stuck with it.

By the end of the 3rd day, I regained my grip on life, regardless of my frightening situation.  A friend I rarely hear from called to tell me about some contest sponsored by Hay House Publishing with a grand prize of $10,000.   I had heard something about it already and wasn’t interested.  I figured it was just a marketing scheme.  But my friend wouldn’t let up and pestered me until I agreed to look into it.  Sure enough, there was a catch.  In order to qualify for the contest, I would need to attend a workshop – to the tune of $500.  I certainly didn’t have $500 of disposal income.  I rolled my eyes in disgust and was about to close my laptop lid when I noticed something.

There were three “Writing From Your Soul” workshops to choose from, each in a different area of the country.  Some city in California, some city in Colorado, and…the location that made my heart skip a beat, Fort Lauderdale, Florida just miles from where my son now lives!  What a bittersweet feeling – knowing this workshop was practically in my son’s backyard (within a week of his birthday), but also knowing a trip down there was sadly out of the question financially.  It would take a miracle and I didn’t seem to be having any luck with miracles lately.  So once again, I was ready to close the laptop, when something else caught my eye – three different Hay House authors were each assigned to one of the locations.  I can’t remember who was scheduled to present in California or Colorado, because my eyes were glued to the only author that mattered to me!  Wayne Dyer!  Of the three authors, he was the one assigned to the Fort Lauderdale location!

I think it was the continual surge of chills that ran up and down my spine that assured me I’d be in Fort Lauderdale on May 3rd and 4th. Suddenly I felt like a kid on Christmas morning.  Like the skies had just opened and poured hugs and kisses down on me.  It didn’t matter that there were still missing pieces (like the money) to get there – I knew without a doubt I’d be there.

Then I remembered something I’d heard the day before – Esther Hicks telling someone in the “hot seat” about the power of putting their intention in writing.  I quickly opened up a word document and typed the following to Source (“Source of All” is the name I sometimes use instead of God – it really depends on my mood):

Dear Source of All,

I intend to go to the Fort Lauderdale Hay House writing workshop on May 3rd and 4th. Therefore, I need the registration fee of $500.  I also trust that you will supply the necessary funds for airfare and hotel and enough money for food and other miscellaneous expenses.  I plan to get there a few days ahead so I can spend time with Frank for his birthday. I leave this request in your loving and supportive hands knowing full well it’s already a done deal.  Much gratitude.

Even though I needed far more than $500 to make this trip a reality, it was really important to me that exactly $500 show up.  Because then I’d know without a doubt, that this was meant to be.  I printed the letter and signed it, then grabbed a hat, gloves and Ipod and took a long walk while belting out some upbeat tunes and envisioning my trip.   How did I know this was going to work?  Every cell in my body was already celebrating.

Less than 48 hours later, I attended a meeting of professional speakers in Philadelphia.  (I’m the president-elect for the Philly chapter of the National Speakers Association)  The current president, Shawn, may have heard me express a lull in my training schedule (at one point or another), but she had no clue how bad things really were for me.  I mean who in their right mind would want their colleagues to know there was literally nothing in the pipeline!  I had way too much pride for that!  That said, it was beyond shocking to me when immediately after the guest speaker finished their program, Shawn came to me with a pink envelope and said, “Take this and don’t ask me any questions.”  And she exited swiftly.  I held onto the envelope until I got home.  It contained a card that read, “I get the impression times are a little tough so let me help – by the way, this is a gift, not a loan!”  Tucked inside the card were five crisp one hundred dollar bills!

How the heck did she know??  Neither one of us could figure it out.  All I can tell you is that we were both in tears later that day when I called her to tell her about the miracle God had just made her a part of.

In Part 2, I’ll share…well, you’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

Can You Believe He Expects Me To Do That?? (Part 1)

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danger expecationsHow to Set Expectations – Personally and Professionally

“What did you expect? is a question asked rather often in relationships and you can tell by the tone, it’s generally asked after a problem has already surfaced.  If this sounds familiar, don’t kick yourself.  The fact is we were never given the tools to live in harmony with each other.  We often have to figure this stuff out on our own and it’s usually based on what isn’t working!  Harmony in a relationship hinges on being clear with expectations.  But like anything else, there’s a right way, a wrong way, and a need for common sense!  Consider…

Personal relationships:  Dave and Claudia are on their first date at a local restaurant.  They’re pleasantly surprised by the way they hit it off right from the start.  After a few hours, Claudia looks Dave in the eye and says,  “I really like you so I want to be upfront with you.  Commitment leading to marriage is very important to me.  My goal is to be married within the next 2 years.  I also have my heart set on 3 kids and a dog, preferably a poodle.”  Dave puts his fork down and signals for the waiter… “Check please!”  The date is cut short and the relationship ends before it begins.

Can setting expectations spoil a potentially good thing?  If common sense is absent, than the answer is YES!  But take a look at what happens with the same couple when expectations are never discussed:

The first date was a success!  Dave and Claudia really hit it off and continued to see each other and within a month or so, they became “exclusive”.  They spent a lot of time together, went to concerts together, cheered for the same sports teams, met each other’s friends and families and scheduled occasional weekend getaways, but neither touched on the future or their individual expectations of the relationship.

Eight months later, Claudia overhears Dave bragging about her to his buddy Ralph.  “She’s just awesome!  We think alike, you know?  Like she’s completely on board with staying single and she doesn’t get caught up in the pressure society puts on us to be ‘married with children’!  Thank God, ‘cause you know I’m not cut out for any of that!”   Ralph nods, “Yup, darn good thing you found a woman on the same page!”

When Ralph leaves, Claudia explodes!  “What do you mean I’m on board with staying single?”  She holds out her left hand, “I’ve been waiting for a ring!  And having children?  Just look at this body!  It’s made for having kids and that’s all I’ve wanted my whole life!  3 maybe 4 of them!  You should have known that!”  Why didn’t Claudia ever tell Dave?  Why didn’t Dave ever ask?

The answer is most likely due to one of the following:

1.   FEAR:  Dave was afraid to ask because he might not like the answers and be faced with a decision he’d rather not make.   Claudia avoided telling Dave for fear of his reaction, or fear of being faced with a conflict.  Both were basically afraid of the outcome for whatever reason, so they postponed the inevitable.   Fear can ruin relationships!

2.  ASSUMPTIONS:  Dave simply assumed Claudia was on the same page since she never brought up marriage or kids.  Claudia assumed Dave should know because… “Well doesn’t every woman want that?”  Both were basically assuming the other thought like them.  Assumptions can ruin relationships!

3.  UNCERTAINTY:  Dave or Claudia never set expectations about the future because neither were quite sure what they wanted anyway.  They were comfortable just riding the waves of life hoping the other would decide for them.  But uncertainty about one’s future often turns into resentment when someone else makes the decision for us!  Therefore, uncertainty can ruin relationships!

These three feeble reasons are the same I see over and over in personal and professional relationships and it can set the relationship up for failure right from the start!  Don’t be afraid to have the conversation.  Don’t ever assume they know what you are thinking.  And DO be certain about your own expectations – because if YOU aren’t certain, you can’t expect your lover/co-worker/child/employer to be either!

Professional relationships:  “She never told me want she wanted, yet she expected me to know!” is an expression shared by many the unemployed person who got fed up and left a job.  People interact and perform better when they know exactly what their employer wants from them.  Even the most skilled person often fall shorts when expectations haven’t been discussed by a superior.  Although communication is a 50/50 proposition, the responsibility of discussing expectations falls heavier on the shoulders of the employer.  Why?  Because the average employee won’t ask what their superior expects of them, let alone tell their superior what they expect!  When an employee isn’t clear about what’s expected of them, they often become hesitant, distracted and make mistakes.  Or they lose interest completely.

While consulting businesses, I run into the following situation constantly:  An employer shakes his head in disgust and asks me, “What in the world was he expecting?” when describing a ‘problematic employee’.  I reply with the question, “Were you both clear about your expectations?”

“Of course!  I spelled out everything in detail!” the employer looks at me as if I offended him.  “Okay,” I continue, “Then what was this particular employee expecting from you?”   The employer looks down at the floor, “Hmmm.  Good question.”

Setting expectations is a must.  The good news is it’s easier than you think.  And when it’s done right, the relationship (personal or professional) will flourish in ways that can seem miraculous.  (Believe me – I have the personal and professional case studies to prove it!)  In Part 2 of “Can You Believe He Expects Me To Do That?” I’ll share the basics of setting expectations… so stay tuned!

 

Forced to Write

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Some consider me a button pusher… a little too out spoken… poking at things that are better left alone.  Guess what?  I agree! But I’m telling you, sometimes the things I do or say are NOT of my choosing!!!  (At least not the “conscious” part of me).  If I had to be honest, I just want a simple life!  I want to wake up and take walks in the park, sit on the beach, travel, make some one smile… You know, nice easy stuff.  At my age, I think it’s only fair.

But I don’t have that option!  Because there is this relentless hand on my back that won’t leave me alone!  It pushes me beyond my comfort…beyond my liking!  And if I don’t heed to that hand, it pushes harder. (I have actually been knocked on the ground twice in the last 3 years – no lie – and they weren’t minor falls – one caused temporary paralysis!)

And if I’m crazy enough to continue to deny that push (which I have been), everything in my life begins to shut down (by that same ruthless hand!)  My speaking business was smashing last year, yet clients who were fighting for my time, have now forgotten my name.  (The hand on my back is the master of shutting doors). Therefore, income dried up. And the bank account dwindled.  And the best marketing efforts (and experts) on earth had no effect. I know because I paid big bucks to have them help me!  My point?

I believe we ALL have that hand on us – and I think it’s attached to the bigger “us.” The one reminding us of that ‘thing’ we originally signed up for. You know – our purpose – what we came here to do. And I think the closer we get to doing that ‘thing’, (for me, it’s writing about the “unmentionables”) the more excruciatingly uncomfortable it gets to live!

When there was nothing left in front of me except the white flag, I slumped over to pick it up. And I reluctantly waved it. I surrender damn it!  Okay??? I freakin’ surrender!!!

Truth be told, I didn’t surrender easily!  I cried, cursed, pleaded for mercy, curled up in the fetal position for days and tried to find a work-around… and when nothing gave, I ate lots and LOTS of chocolate. Then I rented my house to a family and sold all my belongings until there were none left to sell. The hand didn’t care; it didn’t compromise with me. It didn’t tell me it was proud of me, or give me a reassuring pat on the back.  NOOOO.  It refused to negotiate. It kept pushing (or should I say “shoving”) harder.

And finally I’m left with no choice but to do something that makes me cringe inside! To write stuff that I am passionate about, but scared to death to put out there!  Why? (For the same damn reason 80% of the population leave their purpose on the shelf.) Fear!!! The “How-Will-I-Be-Perceived” Fear.  Or in my case, the “Who-Will-I-Offend” Fear.   My family, my friends, my colleagues, and God only knows who else.  The controversial subject matters I share will undoubtedly turn some people off!  Can I handle that?

The fact is, I have no choice. I’m in it deep now. It’s stuff I know. It’s stuff I’ve probably known for lifetimes! (And maybe even been burnt at the stake for?!)  It’s stuff that can help a lot of other people, who are waiting on me to put it all in writing –  and they are the ones I finally surrendered for.

Over the last week, I have been sicker than I’ve been in years. Bronchitis that has had me coughing straight through the last eight nights. (I get bronchitis when the deep buried stuff is trying to come up to the surface – how symbolic, right?)

I trust that many seasoned writers know exactly what this is – I think of it as “a new writer’s metamorphosis,” so I am baring my soul to you fellow writers knowing my secret is safe with you!

Over the last 4 days, I began this new blog (Bare Naked Talk) to reveal some of the stuff that I’ve shared with so few. (Chapters of books in progress that discuss my psychic side, my knowledge of sacred sexuality, my concern with religion’s corruption of society, etc., etc.)  This is stuff I’ve been interested in for so many years and now I realize, I was accumulating a world of knowledge for this exact moment in time, and there is no turning back now.

And to those of you in the same boat – I am here for you!  Don’t hesitate to share your story too! You are safe with me!

By the way, in all the years I’ve been in business, I’ve never received the attention I have in the last 4 days.  (At the risk of sounding like I’m boasting, because that’s not my style, I’ll leave out the stats regarding blog visits and views).  I’d say that’s a sign that I’m finally in alignment with that ‘thing’ I originally signed up for.  Or maybe it’s finally a much needed pat on the back.

Am I ready to date again?

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Moving on post-break-up:  QUICK tips to be sure you’re ready!

Your relationship ended through breakup or divorce. You put the past behind you and you’re eager to date again. But are you really sure you’re ready? Play it safe and see if you are truly dating material yet!

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You are ready to date again if:

1)  You take some responsibility for the past breakup no matter what the circumstances. You say, “But you don’t know my ex and what he/she put me through!”  I say “My divorce could be scripted for a blockbuster horror film”, but the fact is, it takes two to make or break a relationship.  If you are able to take some responsibility, you will be less likely to exhibit a bitter attitude about the past relationship, and that’s a huge plus to the potential new relationship.  And to be honest, true healing from any break up comes when both parties exercise forgiveness.  

2)  You can find things about the past relationship that made you a better person.  All relationships teach us lessons in one way or another. What lessons did you receive and how did you grow? Consider these questions:  How did the past make you a better person for the next partner? What did you learn about yourself? What new behavior will you adopt that you didn’t have in the past?  What healthy behavior do you possess that benefitted the past relationship, and would benefit future relationships? What counterproductive behavior will you put an end to moving forward? Do you need someone to hold you accountable to (start, continue, stop) a certain behavior? Self assessments are very helpful, but if you really want to change, ask those who know you best what traits they see in you that may help or hurt the changes of a solid future relationship.

3)  You can communicate with friends, co-workers and family without rehashing your past breakup.  Can you make it through a day without referring to your ex-partner?  Or is the breakup always on your mind?  Have you gotten past the affair, the wrong-doing, the emptiness, to the point that it doesn’t cross your mind for weeks at a time? Even poking fun at a past relationship or molding the brunt of every joke around your ex, gets on the nerves of those who love you.  When their name has genuinely faded from your vocabulary, you will be more inclined to leave your past pain out of the new relationship.

4)  You can be honest about your past without the need to overpower your date.  While honesty is important, there is no need to exhume all the gory details. That’s just bad energy that doesn’t belong in a new relationship. No one likes a victim and even if you are truly healed, you may appear the martyr if you go into detail. A love interest may feel the right to ask certain questions so they can best determine your character. An appropriate response to any inquiry about your past breakup/divorce could be “My (divorce/breakup) really helped me to look at myself a little closer and make necessary changes. I’d be glad to answer more questions as we get to know each other, but right now I’m interested in learning more about you”.

5)  You can be alone.  That’s right; if you feel okay by yourself and you are content doing things solo, you are ready to date. If on the other hand, you are uneasy being alone, especially on a Saturday night, you may need to look at the reasons. Do you need the approval of someone else to make you feel loved or valued? Do you feel inadequate and run away instead of working on yourself? The fact is, you may be able to hide a lack of confidence temporarily, but it won’t be long before a potential partner senses it and runs for the hills.

Above all else, remember this fundamental fact before you go on the dating market. You will attract the type of person that most matches your current state of mind.  If you are stuck in a quagmire of resentment over a past relationship, you may find yourself sitting across the restaurant table from a potential mate that experiences the same thing in his/her life. And who wants that? Or if you are desperate to find a partner to relieve your anxiety of being alone, you may eventually find the date sitting by your side has as low a level of self-esteem as you. And a relationship like that will most surely cause more heartache down the road.

Make sure you feel whole, confident and happy just the way you are, and then you’ll know you are truly ready to date!

(Repost with this link please:  Reposted from Bare Naked Talk)

*Originally written in 2007.  Revised 2014.  Lynette Landing – Bare Naked Talk

Following the Light – Good idea or bad??

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moth in a screenHow do we know that “the light” is really good? I spend my life looking for the light (the truth, the positive, the freedom, etc.) Well, there’s a moth in the bathroom who is stuck there because it was following the light. Lands up in the house and can’t get out. Buzzing around the window in a frenzy right now trying to get back outside. I try to help, but it’s resisting. I let it be, but I wonder how it doesn’t see the open door just down the hall (the way out to freedom). It insists on hanging near the same window screen it somehow entered last night, but couldn’t exit.  So trapped inside, it’s becoming sadly aware of it’s forthcoming demise. You can see that by the way it’s flapping around in desperation looking for freedom.

Laugh if you will, but I feel it’s pain!  And two things come to mind:

1) Is there an open door within my reach that I’m too afraid to look around for?

2) Is the quest for light even worth it? 

I bet the moth wishes it had stayed in the dark.